Conflict Resolution

Marriage is an institution that has lost its rigid rules which used to guide it and keep couples together – even when it wasn’t going well. Religious rules, fear of social ostracism, financial constraints, and the general status of women as dependent and subservient have one by one disappeared. What has to take their place is the personal development of men and women so they can handle the small and large conflicts that arise when two independent individuals now have to report their thoughts, feelings, activities, and discuss and compromise on most minor and major decisions. Which movie would you like to see? – Which house would you like to buy?

Couples have to learn the skill of arbitration before they really come to needing it. The most important factors in being able to resolve issues is unconditional behavior and the ability to listen proactively.

Reporting vs. Inspiring marriage relationship

Recently we conducted a workshop series on marriage enrichment at The East Hills Community Center in Nassau.

The couples were all professionals and rated their marriages as good to great. They wanted to see if there was something they could learn to take it to an even higher level. We also advertised the workshop as dealing with “the true purpose of marriage,” which many found intriguing.

One of the concepts we teach from The Continuum Theory is that we operate with a framework, a context, a vision in every area of life, whether we are aware of this framework or not.  Mostly, we are not aware, and often it is not a loving, inspiring vision.

We teach that when daily situations arise that cause conflict, we can actually use them to inspire our spouse and ourselves. These small instances of domestic squabble can actually move our marriage to ever higher ground—if we know how to handle it. Read more...